No one is perfect, so sometimes the person you want to be with happens to have this illness. You already know there is much more to the person than their depression or you probably wouldn’t want to be with them. You will never be able to cure your partner’s depression, so it doesn’t serve you to try to fix it or change it. It can be difficult to resist arguing about how they view themselves and their lives.
Depression isn’t fixed with a few simple words or even sage advice. This can be challenging no matter how close you are, but if you’re still in the get-to-know-you phase of a relationship, it can particularly difficult. Most people would agree loving someone means accepting them as they are.
By learning and practicing new relational skills, you can foster connection and closeness with your partner, even when they are struggling. You can even learn how to get your needs met, even if you can’t imagine how someone who is depressed could meet your needs when they’re working so hard just to be OK themselves. FindLover Your partner might be extremely interested in your relationship when they’re hypomanic or manic and appear to lose interest when depressed. This often isn’t the case, but your partner’s energy levels and interest in sex might wax and wane with their mood. You might be able to convince your partner to get treatment.
Why do people feel depressed?
Being in a long-term relationship or even dating someone with depression is also tough. Fortunately, you can be in a healthy relationship with someone who has depression. A person with depression may also have an anxiety diagnosis at the same time.
The negative stigma attached to depression can dissuade depressed people from dating or from talking about their mental health.
This message is as important as telling her that you have depression, says Friedman. If things become more serious, however, you should tell your potential partner. Friedman says a good time might be when you decide to see each other exclusively or when you just feel that you care more deeply about each other. More than 80% of people who seek treatment get relief from symptoms, according to Mental Health America. About 18 million Americans suffer from depression and another 20 million worldwide use dating websites each month, according to Online Dating Magazine.
You recommend listening to a TED talk about depression. But depression is not something you can fix with kindness and love. There is no magic cure that can get rid of depression overnight. “It is easy to get discouraged when dating online,” she says. “It takes skill to know how to navigate online dating to find someone special.” If you are having libido problems that are medication related, talk to your doctor about alternatives that might be less likely to dampen your sex drive.
Make sure you have your own support system of friends, loved ones, and counselors who can provide advice and encouragement when you need it. If you have bipolar disorder, you may already be familiar with the impact your condition can have on a romantic relationship. You may feel nervous about starting a new relationship and finding the “right” time to tell your partner you have bipolar disorder.
Recognizing Relationships Depression
He might use mouthwash because it’s too hard to brush his teeth. Try to keep this added anxiety in mind when your partner reacts strongly to an argument or pushes you away, and incorporate our helpful tips for when you’re dating someone with anxiety. It’s easy to feel hurt when the person you love — and try so hard to help — isn’t reciprocating, or seems to randomly resist your affections. When your partner is depressed, these incidents are not random, and they most likely have nothing to do with you. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean neglecting your partner’s needs—it just means addressing them in adaptive ways. Just because something feels right doesn’t mean it is good for your mental health or the relationship as a whole.
If you notice your partner spends a whole lot of time crying over things that seemingly don’t call for it, they may be depressed. Disciplinary actions, being late all the time, or even getting fired, if it isn’t their normal work ethic, point to depression. When depressed, working doesn’t seem like anything but a waste of time and trivial. Because depression can lead to feelings of detachment, you might feel like your partner is starting to lose interest.
However, at the same time, you have to make sure that you don’t lose yourself in the effort to make them happy. Think you’ve got the best slice of advice for your lover on dealing with their depression? More than likely, your partner already knows that exercise promotes feel-good, depression-fighting oxytocin. And they also know that open communication is key to a healthy relationship.
Dating someone with depression can be demanding, not to mention emotionally taxing and exhausting. Watching your significant other suffer from negativity, self-defeat, and destructive behaviors hurts. The truth is, it can be challenging to navigate a relationship with someone who’s depressed.